Your child is around 14, and he has not been a great student. To worry about it is normal for a parent. Then its a also normal to think of solutions for this problem. Then you hit upon this idea. Why not get the child to envision on what he/she would be doing in life. So with the data that you possess about your child and the world around you arrive at a career plan hoping that his studies will align to it. You have just successfully limited the potential of the child.
Hold your horses please. The biggest assumption that you probably make is that an academically sound child will have a stable life.
1. Do you know the future?
The way the world is moving its impossible to even speculate as to what will be the hot pick jobs 5 years from now. What the child wishes to specialize in today in order to find a suitable in the future may not be the flavor of that day at that point in time.
Hence its important for you to let the child decide. Give confidence to the child to take decisions.
2. A weak student may be actually a strong human being
To equate academic performance to the personality of the child may be the flaw of the century. If a child is an under performer in school it may simply mean that he/she does not possess the skills to handle school education. And that every child has some skills or the other.
As a parent it is important to help the child to focus on his strengths and make the child understand that by strengthening the weak areas he/she possesses it will strengthen the existing skills too. For this the child needs to be encouraged and motivated to perform well academically but should never be forced into doing anything.
However to be able to make sound decisions the child must know what is happening around the world. The best way to get to know that is by reading.
3. Studies are very important
Every child must be a reader. The first love of every child must be books. As a parent, if your child is far away from books, you must be concerned. Main reason can be because as a family you do not show any concern to reading. In such situations the parents must take the lead and must start reading this will encourage the child to read too.
Studies are important not just for the content it provides but for the character and strength it can build in the child. The skills reading and writing provides are the ones the child needs to do well in life.
I remember this story about the optimist kid and the pessimist kid. Give the Pessi Kid a room full of toys in an hour the kid is fed up distracted and banging the door wanting more. The Opti kid if locked in a room full of horse dung will be busy rummaging through it and if you ask him why- he would say ” Iam searching for the horse, with so much of dung around Iam sure there is a horse somewhere’. The Opti kid will obviously be messy and smelly all over 🙂
The unwanted text messages and updates are all, most of them are, bull shit. The jokes some strange updates on facebook and twitter, scanning the eyes are like rummaging through dung. Just when you reach breaking point comes a stunner. And yesterdays message from a friend of mine actually stunned me…. here goes the text message.
To start a day is just like painting. Draw the line with prayers. Erase the error with forgiveness. Dip the brush with patience & color it with Love”
This got stuck to my mind, and I suddenly got into the shoes of a painter and by evening I landed up with an abstract masterpiece. I was recollecting the sheaves of papers I would have painted all my life, if I were to have painted a canvas per day I would have done nearly 19000 paintings so far. Some day I would like to go through it, Iam sure it has been scanned and uploaded somewhere for me to take a visual trip through it, or what if it has been been displayed in a gallery? Iam sure people are walking through the displays- confused, angry or may be even disgusted. Maybe few of the canvases have been miniaturized and are being given as souvenirs at the counter for the visitors to take home. Picture post cards of some collections sold illegally by touts on the sidewalks outside.
A group of children accompanied by a young teacher seemed very interested with the colors, they seem to relate to their own works of art, the stern teacher was not amused as she rushed them along pointing on and off to some of the canvases and insinuating – how not to paint.
“You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.”
The ones I thought were my best did not but attract even a glimpse, my worst displays demanded the gallery staff to set up that ribbon of protection around and some even demanded 24 hr security fearing heist.
Life in art form is strange isn’t it ? At least I’am glad I used my canvases.
Greetings. I was feeling low, down and out. This huge poster grabbed my attention and so I thought of writing this letter to you.
I am a student of 12 std. Like most students I don’t like to study, but I like to get good marks. I would not mind going to the corners of the earth to understand how to do that.
Thats is why Iam approaching you. Can you please pray for me ?
I feel a little delicate to bring this up to you, I hope you will understand. I have been terrible with play station too my kid sister takes me to the cleaners every time. While praying for my studies can you pray that I do well with my Play station too? My confidence is at the lowest level and my self esteem is low it will be of great help, at least in the short term, if I can see gods hand at work in my games. My faith in his ability to help me in my board exams will take a big leap.
When I was asked to suggest to a group of 10th Standard students about the various opportunities available for then when they enter the work world – I just refused. Why should I be doing it, or for that matter why should anybody limit a child of that age to focus on one single industry or stream?
The student at that age, with all the information that is available to him/her must be choosing his/her own destiny. Moreover we live in a rapidly changing world driven by information technology, and the flavour of the day is surely studies related to engineering (at least inIndia). I dont see the Information era holding sway for more that 2 years when the Bio Tech era will step in. What will happen in the Bio Tech era, how management and communication will change etc is something very few will be able to foresee. But one thing is clear, social and environmental issues will be in the center it will displace computing and transmission.
There was a time when you got a job if you managed to complete school, then a degree was required, now we need a post graduation and now you need a PhD, so much for academic inflation. The entire institutional learning is under scrutiny. Search engines have empowered everyone including the students. Their dependence on the education system is minimal and it will eventually vanish.
So the students who are in school now will need to be trained with skills to take on challenging educational streams. When I was reading about the interview of Vineet Joshi, Chairman, CBSE, in The Hindu today I was very disappointed. He was talking about the nuts and bolts of today and never really cared to look ahead and trigger dreams in the minds of the teachers and students. Take a look at some of the excerpts
What are the options you plan to give Class XI and XII students?
Options in terms of more electives. Earlier, it was enough if you gave them a choice in science, arts and commerce. But in the changed scenario, not only are these three subjects opening up but there is vast scope in newer fields such as Media Studies, Design, Retailing and Logistics.
The message is very clear, CBSE is preparing children for the work world. No leadership thinking at all.
I believe that you need to develop leaders, entrepreneurs, politicians, socially conscious citizens at school. Above all school should give them skills, particularly reading skills, for the children to be able to acquire knowledge to make sane decisions and navigate their life to the right course.
I had the opportunity of motivating a group
of students in DAV Mogappiar to look beyond
the now. Like always one comes out enriched
after such sessions. It gets you to think,
let me share my thoughts out here.
Philosophy the Queen of Sciences
Yesterday I mentioned to the students about Philosophy being in the top of the learning hierarchy and Technology at the bottom. A lanky bespectacled lad walked up to me at the end and said I want to become anengineer and I love philosophy. I was quite intrigued. Something snapped within me and I said ‘You ought to be both‘ he just picked up my email id and went away smiling and he seemed happy.
I recalled the Swayamvara ceremony of Sita. The one who could string Shivas bow and shoots wins the princes. Rama attempting to string the bow breaks it displaying his strength and wins over Sita.
Philosophy requires a great amount of intuitive understanding, instead of just empirical data to come to a full understanding of it. Its the combination of both that will be meaningful. Knowledge and strength that is acquired with technological pursuit needs to pursue the queen (and win her over).
What would this mean? Any engineering or scientific pursuit a vast array of facts and figures that are so much apart have contradictions woven into it, unless we rise above its level it will be impossible to bring together these contradictions and grasp them. (stringing the bow)
This in simple language may suggest that Technology is an urchin running around at the base of the pyramid, far from it. Its not the heirachy in the power sense, its more on the distribution of resources and capabilities. The progress of a society would surely rely on those who toil at the bottom but for the toil to be meaningful there needs to be ‘swamyamvar’ that will set you face to face with the queen. The queen needs it too, to find meaning it is not meet for her to choose a partner from her own setting, lest the Bread and Cake gets blurred and she becomes a power hungry beast fit enough to be slayed some day.
As a nation we have set our mind on philosophical thought. Today the flavor seems to be in pursuit of technology and commerce. Children like lemmings are blindly running towards the steep cliff, mindlessly and thoughtlessly pursuing a life of comfort and not a life of meaning. Its time we organize Swayamvara ceremonies. Win over Sita boys. Only she can get the best out of you.
This never made any sense to me. Young squirmy god fearing guy fed on choral music and bible lessons gets bullied and bashed up by a burly bully, just for the heck of it and the good word says – show the other cheek. Give me a break, the thin weak legs that tremble anyway cannot move so the only other option would be to stay put and get rogered and feel like a martyr and climb those few notches up the spiritual ladder. (Talk to Sreeram – Kravmaga he will tell you )
Somehow this never made any sense to me. David slaying Goliath yes!!!!! That seems fair.
Listen to this far more practical story about Mohamed Bouazizi who worked as a simple fruit vendor and took care of his mother. Enter the dragon – Faida Hamday the municipal inspector who inspected buildings and fined vendors, just bullying them.
On Nov 17th Faida, confiscated the apples from the Bouaziz and when he tried to snatch it back, she slapped him. A tight slap. Left with no choice Mohamed Buazizi decided to show his other cheek too. He probably thought within him self “Okay Bitch, you wanna hurt me right… let me help you hurt me” Mohamed went to the Governors office poured thinner on and immolated himself and ended his life….denying the inspector of the second slap. Now I know what showing the other cheek means… If you are made to go a mile then go two.. if its the other cheek they want… give your entire life. For the more you give the more you receive. Mohammed Bouazizi, the fruit vendor is part of world history.
It was Bouaziz that triggered the revolution in Tunisia. The people are free today. One small slap and a giant leap to the Tunisians.
In Honour of Mohammed Bouazizi, the Man who toppled
I handle the importance of classical music from two angles one as an activity to develop listening skills and the other is for dispelling stress.
Listening skills:
Listening is a commodity today, ‘listen carefully’ would mean – be all ears to gather or assimilate what I tell you. Well this is a basic form of listening. As you progress in life, you need to be able to listen on a karmic level, which is to be able to process the target sound even without actually paying attention. And then be able let the information or thoughts get into your brain (cognitive areas) and toy it around the and then be able to link it, match it or interact with what you already have in store and create something new around it. And all this must be done simultaneously, without compromising on the listening process (sustained auditory attention)
A good listener is trained to be able to handle complicated sounds in quick succession effortlessly.
How is this possible? You ought to know that a word in itself is a combination of phonemes or sounds that are delivered to you in various tones, volume and frequencies. A good listener is trained to be able to handle complicated sounds in quick succession effortlessly. And embody the relevant thought or knowledge or instruction into ones system so that doing and functioning becomes a natural process or in other words it just happens. Which means you would be doing something because you can’t but do it. You are not programmed you have quickly wired yourself for that task. This is opposed to the stressful external ‘to do’ lists that kind of take charge of us and govern us.
Listening activity
Typically in a training session, I play beat loaded movie music and observe the body movements and the flutter in the group. Suddenly I switch to a classical tune; most of them will start displaying boredom in less than 30 seconds of playing. I would play it for not more that 2 minutes and then I shut it down (cannot bear to see the boredom in their faces). Now why do you like the movie music, the response will invariably be – “because it’s interesting” and why not the classical music? – ‘because its boring’.
I end the activity with a thought – so you walk into an elite hotel they play boring music right? And the music played on the road side is good fun, it’s interesting.
Its deconstruction time.
The word boring should actually be read as threatening or incapability.
What did the participants mean by interesting and boring?
Interesting in this context would mean: I am familiar to these sequence of sounds that are simple and are repetitive and hence I am able to process it easily so I can relate to it. Or it would mean that the sounds make me want to dance and it makes me want to dance or tap my feet in other words it makes me respond.
Classical Music is boring statement would actually mean. I am unable to process complicated sounds delivered in quick intervals, hence my brain is threatened and shuts off the sound. You need to realize the word boring should actually be read as threatening or incapability.
Threatening sounds
Whatever is given to brain it will either take it as a challenge or a threat. Challenge is brains feast; it gobbles it up, and threat it rejects. What happens in most cases is that, as individuals who have this inclination to pleasure and ease tend to indulge in trite and thereby brings down the ability to handle challenges. Over a period of time our brains threshold level of handling challenge diminishes and it gravitates towards banality and finds meaningful interactions as ‘boring’ and un-stimulating. This would mean that our mind has started deteriorating and that we are being reduced to a normal living organism.
How do you develop listening skills?
I hate to say this but in this context you need to bear with me. Classical music helps develop listening skills (western or eastern). To reduce Classical music to develop ones listening skill pains me, for it’s much more that that.
Classical music delivers complicated sound sequences in quick succession. Music like language is something what is inborn in us, we grow up the rhythm of the heart beat and start uttering sounds on birth and acquire language skills for survival. Human endeavour need not end with a need for survival with basic skills, in order to live a life to the fullest it’s important that we strive. And if there is anything one must to pay attention, invest energies and strive for let it be on acquiring language skills and music.
Why language and music?
Latest findings on neuroscience indicate that the under girding of the brain sounds and words. This would also mean that our brain responds and rewires only when it’s provided with a continuous feed of language. Music is language in that sense. When we apply our mind to these primary skills we, by default, develop a whole lot of other skills, like Memory, Processing, Attention, Sequencing etc. And these skills in turn will prove to be of help to acquire other skills or develop and strengthen existing skills there by making our challenges easy to handle, relieving us of stress.
In summation let’s say, good music can help you develop skills and help you live a stress free life.
Now Iam sure you would have heard a lot of terrible things about the auto rickshaw drivers in Chennai. As a Chennaite for 52 long years, I have got into blows, arguments and I have also made some good friends with Auto drivers. So I thought of sharing my experiences with you on how to handle the auto rickshaw drivers in Chennai. Hope this will be of use to you.
1. Older the better
Look out for a driver who is above 45 yrs plus of age. The younger the driver the more convincing he is about asking for an unreasonable fare. A typical auto driver with nearly 20 plus years of driving experience will be reluctant to ask for high fares, you can figure it out in his voice.
2. Don’t view them as enemies or exploiters
Don’t begin with this attitude that all auto drivers are unreasonable, well they aren’t. If you find them asking for a very unreasonable fare, smile at them knowingly and very gently tell them that you cannot afford it. Don’t get angry or abusive. Don’t let them spoil your day and don’t spoil their day too.
3. Understand they are humans too
Now most of us make this mistake of only calculating the fare in terms of gasoline cost. Remember there is a man behind the wheel and a family he has to support. He needs money too. He may be unreasonable for some reason, well it can even be to support is alcoholism. But the man needs money. He is trying to work and make a living by making a quick buck. Approach him with concern and care. They are humans after all.
Now most of the auto drivers drink and drive, avoid them like a plague
4. Keenly observe their face sharpen your nose
Now most of the auto drivers drink and drive, avoid them like a plague. There are some simple ways to find out.
If you see a group of auto rickshaw drivers having fun and chatting together then you need to be careful
You need to observe their speech and mannerisms carefully. If in doubt just walk away.
Smell is one thing that gives away easily
Most of the alcoholic drivers can be identified by their dressing and the way in which they maintain their vehicle. But this is not a rule as such just an indication
5. Don’t haggle beyond a point, look for values
I have seen most people haggling for small change, you got to be generous with them. They lead a tough life, they have wife and kids. They are humans like us having financial problems too.
Most auto drivers have fantastic insights on politics and other social trends because their job keeps them glued to the lifeline and they are exposed to different kinds of people. So by conversing with them and asking them relevant questions you will end up being enriched at the end of the journey. The information they provide can be of immense value
There was one auto guy who cried after I inquired about his family and kids, he said nobody has ever spoken to him so far.
6. Be concerned
Genuinely be concerned about them. Ask them about their family. They have a tough time with health, be concerned about their health too. You will realize that you can make friends with them in the process. And if you are nice to them the chances of them being reasonable to the next customer is very high. I have come across some auto drivers after charging high fares refuse to even take money from me at the end of the journey. There was one auto guy who cried after I inquired about his family and kids, he said nobody has ever spoken to him so far.
7. The caste system in India
You need to realize that the caste system is one biggest evil in our society. People like the auto drivers are treated as low class people. Hence most of them respond to the treatment meted out to them. It’s not reasonable to expect them to be good and fair. It’s up to us to realize the milieu in which they are and adapt to them
8. Don’t Crib if you are over charged
There are times when you may feel that you have over paid to an auto driver. Now please do not cry over this. There is no harm being generous with such service providers. Don’t go around bad mouthing or cursing them or feel deprived and cheated.
9. Define your success by shiny eyes not by beating down the rates.
Now I accept dealing with an auto driver in Chennai is not easy, you cannot take anything for granted. You need to be sharp in dealing and in negotiations. That does not mean you need to beat them down to bare minimum and haggle for small change. Neither do I suggest you to be generous. Just think within yourself that you are going to handle a challenge that you have no clue about, avoid defining success with your ability to get a good deal in terms of fare. If you are able to bring a smile on the mans face, or give him shiny eyes or made him want to be a better person you have been successful and there is good reason for you to be happy about it. Once I was conversing with a driver, I found that he had lost his wife 2 months back and he had to bring up 2 daughters alone, and he was a bit worried. I shared him the importance of encouraging them to read and study so that their mind is set in the right direction. I even gave him Rs.200 more and told him to surprise his kids with some good books to read. I was embarrassed as the man literally fell at my feet for being so concerned. He gave me shiny eyes.
By over paying them you should never feel cheated or conned. There are times we land up in a fancy restaurant and pay through our nose for some sick food and have no remorse about it.
…they have been cheated and harassed by passengers. They are harassed by policemen and hooligans.
10. They get cheated too
I have many friends who are auto drivers. If you are persistent in conversation you will notice that they have been cheated and harassed by passengers. They are harassed by policemen and hooligans. They are falsely implicated for crimes they do not do. They often pay huge rental charges or interest rates for the vehicle.Most of them earn and live for the day; they don’t save or accumulate money. They help other people.
Now you need to remember they are those who help others too. They encounter many things on the road and they are always ready to step in a volunteer help. It may from little child who has been deserted on the road to untangling a traffic jam. They are always there to help.
So I urge you and encourage you not to be carried by all the bad talk about the auto rickshaws in Chennai. Yes they are unreasonable most of the times. But it does not mean they are not humans. Deal with them with respect.
This is not a fairy tale video.. I have come across such wonderful auto drivers
My friend Kuiljeit put up a nice little aggressive sounding status on facebook
All the calculations show it can’t work. There’s only one thing to do: MAKE IT WORK.
This lady puts me on thought mode always and its good. Like her for that. Why are we trying to become what we are not.. was something that flashed on my mind and I responded by saying
u r surely inspired by Alexander cutting the Gordian knot.. he is greek not an Indian … As an Indian one should probably accept the ‘cant work’ and identify the innate strength of ‘cant work’ and make it work for you 🙂 🙂
The she comes with this fantastic stuff
Hey…you know what Benny – my name means ‘Conqueror of the World’ …. and Alexander was one …. 😉
Now what world is Kuiljeit talking about .. and I responded
Kuiljeit — The world as defined by Ganesha I hope ? Not the objective world for sure
This internet gives you the power to toggle between the philosophy and trite. Next second I was on Cricinfo reading and something amazing popped up that seemed to the strand of the same thought here it is
Sometimes when you have a weakness, you go out and maximise your strength, and hurt the opposition with it. Matthew Hayden did that. He wasn’t a technically great batsman, but he charged at the opposition, intimidated them, making them fear he could hurt them in a short period of time. Yusuf Pathan is too gentle a person to have that sort of intimidating aura. He won’t snarl and he won’t sledge. He will struggle against the short ball, he will take blows on his body, but if you pitch it in his hitting area, he will make a clean connection and he will hurt you. Link
Around last week I read a similar writing in The Hindu written by Ramesh Mohan about the Indian cricket’s team victory in South Africa
Unlike Australia’s champion cricketers, who cultivated an intimidating air, doing little things that showed intent such as running onto the field after breaks, India has for the most part been calm and resilient. Where the Australians revelled in their athleticism, seeming younger than they were, the Indians have celebrated the wisdom that comes with age, appearing older than they are.
The council of elders — Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, V.V.S. Laxman, Zaheer Khan — has about it the reassuring comfort of a dark-wood study. Although they are essentially ‘skill players’, they know how to get the best out of their bodies over five days, so they can compete with faster, stronger athletes.
Tilted Plus 