Humor
Some cupids are dyslexics
Cupids are those cuddly naked angels hanging out in the clouds, constantly scanning the earth to zero on hapless victims. Cupids are generally trained to be sharp shooters. They are well aware of which ventricle in the heart to target.
Its only the simple who look at the heart in the broad sense, accomplished analysts know the complexity of the heart and love. Let me not go into details, lest you are a person with starry eyes and a fluttering heart, get too technically involved replacing emotions with engineering and loose this wonderful emotion called Love in the process.
Love, as the Greeks beleive, come in 4 broad shades. No I will no get into that. In lay mans terms let me say, depending on the impact and the size of the arrow shot and the place where it resides, this feeling of love may just range from wanting to constantly text message your lover or spend your entire time on Photoshop organizing a virtual wedding album.
On Valentines day due to surge in demand the services of all the cupids with a bows and arrows are commandeered. When the shooting is in full swing some of these tiny green horned cupids end up getting confused between a heart and a diamond. Thats when you see guys get busy scratching their bank accounts and credit cards to be able to afford that diamond ring. The conspiracy of DeBeers in this cannot be ruled out.
The worst is when some absolutely idiotic cupids, run out of arrows and end up clubbing you on the head. This is when the victim goes absolutely tizzy thinking about his/her lover.
There are some accomplished cupids who are equipped with sophisticated shooting devices… you are dead if you are in the line of an artillery or machine gun fire. In case you feel that you have been attacked by love bullets, its highly advisable to hit the nearest watering hole and go nuts drinking….. you might have to do this for a prolonged period of time, till the therapeutic effects of alcohol has its full effect on all your vital organs.
…………………………………
Awesome offer from WordPress
Check this out a fantastic offer from wordpress
There is a fantastic offer from WordPress check this link
How I fell into the Blog Pit
This is my personal experience as a blogger. I started blogging some 3 years ago, I was 48 years. I really dont remember how it all started but the fact is that I somehow tripped and fell into this blog pit.
My life has changed ever since. I dont have time for myself, now I have to keep reading to sharpen my mind and I have to observe everything keenly to get something out of it so that I can write about it.
I am not a simple guy anymore. Its a little stressful at times. To want to evolve into a human being is surely not a simple thing. Well I sometimes hope that I had been careful with my steps and had not fallen into this blog pit at all.
Its does not end here, I get to know people who are in the same pit for long and have had a shot at writing a book. The wanting to write a book fever is crawling on to me, this life is very miserable.
If you are not a blogger, writer or a reader. Be very happy being a simple biological organism walking this earth. Life is far easier that way. Just watch TV.
Dont ask me why I have filed this under humor category>
diaper to brain – end 2 end solutions
Wordcreates launches the Fun meter. Every post from henceforth will have this Fun meter to give the reader an indication as to what he can be ready for.
For instance the extreme fun will be called the bladder laugh. If a post were to warn you of that its highly advisable that you strap on your adult diaper.
The other end will be the serious stuff for which you need to be prepared to get seriously philosophical and thoughtful. Life cant be fun always. When ever you run out of diapers you may need some stuff for the other end too. That reminds of this nice limerick
God has given you two ends.
One to sit with and the other to think with
Success depends on what you choose
Heads you win. Tails you loose.
You have a range of other stuff between the the diaper and the brain. So hang on and check out this space for some end to end solutions.
If you want to use this for your blog – go ahead. This is a global launch.
Seduction in the bazaar
I hate malls, and large shop formats. Maybe the bigness dwarfs me and eats into my self esteem or the choice overwhelms me and I’am left with no choice. Its that tutored niceties of the staff that actually gets me.
Yesterday I was almost coerced to be in Stoppers Shop at Chetput. No not for me but for my friend who wanted to pick up some ‘good’ clothes. 
Discounts and offers
We were greeted by huge well designed by ignorable numbers that screamed discounts and offers. Our minds were set not on the price but on the quality. We were honest shoppers who believe that clothes must cover skin, and must really be the next best thing to nudity.
We picked up clothes, those clothes carried the miniature version of those huge seductive numbers in the form of tags that seem to cling on to the fabric by the skin of its teeth. Ruthess and hard hearted, we ignored them.
Rubber screeching
At the billing counter, were the number crunching takes place, we were out on a surprise trip. These obnoxious tags nearly ruined our 60 minutes of work. The lady at the counter gets to know that we dont possess a privilege card, and she very lovingly whispers “so you are not eligible for the discount”. Despondency lifted its head from within.
WTF do writers know?
You dont expect people like us who set their minds on words and writing to have any clue on clothing or numbers. We are used to wrapping around stuff. Its the bloody eyes of the ordinary mortals that forces us to choose our wrappings aka clothes.
Now you throw meaningless numbers at us? You dont expect us to carry your stupid privileged cards in our wallets all the the time do you? What the hell who wants to be a privileged shopper? big deal!!!!! F*** you, just bill and let us out. WHAT? these questions things crowded our minds.
Alternate discount solutions unveiled!!!!
If we had left those clothes and walked away, my friend would have been
richer by nearly rs.3500 for shoppers stop it would not have mattered at all, for them we would have been like those price stickers that get peeled off from unsold garments.
Then investing Rs.3500 on books on Flipkart would have been our greatest joy.
Now if Shoppers stop were to give me the assignment to promote I will come up with this stunning stuff…. NO CARDS, NO COMPLEX LOYALTY PROGRAMS, NO BILLING ISSUES… NO LOSS OF REVENUE. This is probably the best recyclable model… it works across genders too..
The bushman with soft skills
In the jungle of corporate hustling communication happens from the attire than from the mind. Yo! A scrub from school who languished with low grades can shop for image from fashion street and hurrah to Pygmalion he is ready to deal cheek by jowl with the scholars. Add a simple 2 day ‘tongue cleaner’ workshop to transform a garbled tongue to a suave and fluent dude, sprinkle some attitude with some make over from a hen coop, and a fancy phone, bingo the academic flop is ready to make it big in the corporate world.
The masquerading accouterments are off the shelf, after all skating in an air-conditioned rink is no sweat. A leading private bank has designated the hues of the skin to fulfill the
terms of employment. Naïve as I was I literally dumped my banker who was rude and efficient to a private bank that sported well designed pay-in slips, envelopes and well draped girls only to hear apologies in husky voices parroting so very often ” Sorry Sir it wont happen ever again”.
Quote moby dick – Now I would rather sail a ship with a rude efficient captain than a friendly inefficient chap.
LOVE ON VELOCITY EXPRESS
When I got to know about Love on Velocity Express, bingo I made up my mind to
read it… step 2, I connect with the author on Facebook become friends and step 3 I get onto Flipkart and two days later I have the book on hand. His interview about the book on the blog was mind blowingly funny, check it out LINK. Now what sealed the deal was this
Will it be worth spending Rs 95 on?
Folks, it’s certainly more intellectually-stimulating than a pizza that costs you as much; plus it contains minus 673 calories, since you are gonna burn a few fatty acids laughing your way to great health. Think of it as a weight reduction cum soul-enlarging regimen.
Apparently Sampath has picked up this line from Samir Jain of Times of India, when this maverick, marketer par excellence, productized hallowed newspapers and reduced the price of 3 newspapers to one stick of Gold Flake Kings.
MY TRIP ON THE TRAIN
Sampath was truthful when he said about loosing fatty acids. My trip with Love on Velocity Express was fascinating. Too many stones hit my ‘giggle pond’. Occasionally it was Art Buchwald who threw some stones into that pond and at times it was Vadivel. I got a little stressful at times.
Even before the ripple of the first lot of fat could finish its course, the next one started and it went on and on.. Gawd!!!!! it was too much for me to handle, I started detesting mirth at one point. This is what a book must do.. it must make you angry and disgusted (or some such damn feelings) and all this while laughing your butt off.
THE STORY LINE
There is a amazing girl – Megha – who will blow you mind off. Sampath seems to be a fan of Pareto, 80% of the book he dribbled with some banal story line and conversations salted and peppered with humor. Then the bizzare take off during the end. Megha the intelligent subverter pops up. A nice creaky but fun packed roller coaster is this book.
Guys if you love fun. If you love happiness. If you love humor. Get the book now on Flipkart.
Tsunami – Japanese hosiery outlet ?
The word Tsunami has a new meaning now. Prior to 2004, at most, I would have ignored this word as a name of a Japanese hosiery outlet selling only women’s undergarments or a pretty Geisha. Tsunami (soo- na-me) – honestly what is so horrific about this? The sounds in isolation and combined transmits peaceful Gandhian message.
If the people had been warned of Tsunami well in advance one may have found more people flocking to the beach to witness the entertainment, with touts selling tickets for seats with a better view. Katrina, Elnino, Nadine, Caren are names that come out of typical peace loving homes that embrace comfort and security. Whoever takes the decision to employ such names to such monstrous waves and twisters sure have a great sense of humor. They get vicarious pleasure hanging a nice pink tag with names embedded in silver on these monsters. Perhaps its a way to tame them, which is just not possible, for these deadly creatures don’t seem to have eyes or heart for that matter even a head or a neck to hang tags one.
The only reason for these soft names, I can think of is, to make sure mankind does not fear and worship nature, just like the way our ancestors (with simple minds) worshipped all those elements on which they had no control.
Step back for a while if we had given names like Tyron Shulaces U.G. Rection, Utits Besaggy, Juwanna Hooker, to these disasters. Someday these realistic hard sounding names may find place in the pantheon of gods. The communities that are alongside the coast will be the first adapters of these new gods, from there it will spread. Frickin Pagans !!!!!!!
We may carry a mile of ancestor memories, fearing natures elements, but that little centimeter of hope that we have over dominating the laws and forces of nature and to sit on the pinnacle of the food chain makes us want to name ice cream parlors, and coffee joints as Tsunami. We even a nick name a naughty little kid Elnino.
The fight is surely not against traditional foes today, they have been vanquished. The battle today is against us – our greed, our gluttony, our fears, our sloth, credit, mindless consumption etc. Its time we give some appropriate names to such little foes that have grown disproportionate in size.
Most foods today have colors, chemical preservatives and taste enhancers. Should we take their contribution and name them after their chemical structure?. If we were to rechristen Alaskan salmon Roe Caviar Malassol as antimony oxysulfide do you think it will work? At most antimony ox sulfide may become very attractive and chemistry as a subject can sport a much needed sex appeal.
That’s a huge deviation I have taken from the Tsunami. Thousands of people were caught unaware on that terrible boxer’s day. Sitting in Chennai, often times I wonder why were I was not there on the sands of Marina? I have never got an answer beyond – God’s grace.
God’s grace on that people who left the earthly shores or on those like me who still hang around here?
When disasters like greed, evil, lust, anger, pride, corruption swells up within us and wrecks us all around us , we seem to have given better names like ambition, focus, determination etc to nurture them.
We need not fear external dangers anymore.
India needs a Monarch
Have you heard of this king called King Pari? His generosity is an inspiration for many apparently AndiMuthu Raja, a disciple and follower of Muthuvel Karunanidhi, has been in the receiving end of this story from the Kalaingar. King Pari was riding his chariot one day as he noticed a jasmine creeper lying on the ground. People living in cities and the digital babies may not have seen a Jasmine creeper – they look a lot like the complex wiring you get to see in telecom systems. Now King Pari’s heart went out for the poor creeper that he asked the charioteer to bring the chariot near the creeper and gently lifted the creeper and placed it on the chariot. After this gesture King Pari walks back home and returns with some bamboo structures to support the creeper. Such was King Paris benevolence.
Now such wonderful stories of sacrifice have been intricately wired into the minds of these literary stalwarts and as much of literature impacts science it can impact anything including untangling the complex telecom muddle too.
AndiMuthu Raja was taking a walk down the corridors of his ministry one day when he saw this poor 2G spectrum unattended and trampled. He cannot bear to see it so he picks it up and gently places itself around himself and gave it life. Now the twist in the tale is due to the passage of time. King Pari’s gesture was appreciated on that day; the context was a lot different. What Raja did was far nobler – he gave himself, so why all this hue and cry. The creeper found its way into his pockets but that’s not the fault of the man who made the biggest sacrifice.
The vagabond says Democracy is not fit for India, we need Monarchy back, and we need a noble king and Raja to rule us. I agree with him. Consider the state of deterioration in our country, when a man of noble birth carrying a noble name sacrifices himself for a noble cause the blood thirsty mortals are screaming for his blood.
Hear ye Raja, if ever you decide to start your own state with the 6000 crores, count on me for support. I am willing to sacrifice myself and all that I have and serve as a humble Minister in your Telecom Department.
Related Articles
- Telecommunications Minister Raja resigns from Union Cabinet (thehindu.com)
- Minister Raja Resigns Amid Multibillion-Dollar India Telecom Investigation – Bloomberg (news.google.com)
- The big money lurking behind India’s ‘telecoms scam’ – BBC News (news.google.com)
Politics is not for sissies
.
With all the pampering around people are sure becoming softer, the stories they are exposed to are cotton candy stuff. We were talking about the sacking of Rome by Atilla the Hun, then I dipped into the other battles that involved Rome – the Norman attack, the Vandals – the complicated group relationships and dynamics they are so fascinating.
Politics is all about making collective decisions .. and has to do with complex group interactions.. but the word POLITICS, has got such negative connotation today.. that people prefer insulating themselves and living for themselves.. which i think is terrible. Add to this the lack of patience and attention of the NOW generation, then the lack of language skills in complex social interactions, most prefer to slay political activity and politicians sitting in the drawing room.
Tilted Plus 